THE LITTLE VOICE INSIDE

THE LITTLE VOICE INSIDE - Hennie de Jager 2004-09-26

In March 1994, Zach de Beer said in an article about the DP, “The essence of our philosophy is the overwhelming value of the individual.” That is the core principle for me, and it is probably why Brian Newton said of me at a dinner in Stellenbosch in the seventies, “Here is a true liberal,” because I feel very strongly that every person has the right to decide for themselves what they want to do with their lives.

The big difference between conservative and liberal views is the degree of coercion involved. The more we coerce, the more we try to impose our view of life on another, the more we either kill their initiative, or we cause rebelliousness. I have always felt strongly about what I believe in and what I have come to believe over the years, my faith if you will. Because I am liberal in my thoughts, I have mostly kept it to myself. I have never tried to convince other people of what I believe.

September 11, 2001 changed the world forever, and one of its greatest tragedies is that real division is overlooked. It is about the difference between good and evil, not between Christian and Muslim. Why don't we listen to the little voice inside us when we deal with people, and forget about the rule book?

I seem to have had this serious streak since childhood. I can still remember that my Sub A teacher in Rawsonville, Miss Rademeyer, wrote in my first report card that I was too serious. I loved her very much. She had the wide-mouthed smile of a warm-hearted person. I still have the class photo of us all with our toothy smiles around her, like bees around a flower.

I have always been a very introverted person, more inclined to stand on the edge of the group. I don’t speak easily in front of people, unless what is said differs strongly with my belief. Then it is difficult for me to remain silent. As the saying goes “Stand up and be counted.” The people I admire are almost without exception those who are not mainstream people, people who are willing to stick their necks out for what they believe in.

It seems to me that my head is either too hard, or I care too little about what becomes of me personally, or that what I truly believe is so deeply rooted within me, that no amount of sanding or pasting on the surface can replace it. Everything, but everything you deal with, has an influence on your thinking. Everything that comes into my senses must be pondered, before it finds a place somewhere within my own frame of reference.

A recent proposal at a church council meeting was that everyone should state in writing what their monthly contribution will be, and that it be communicated to everyone. This proposal violates people’s privacy, one of the highest rights of everyone. What you give is a matter between you and your Lord, and it has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.

MY CONFESSION OF FAITH

I believe our emphasis is in the wrong place, especially in three aspects:

1. That people are born sinful.

2. That people are incapable of anything good.

3. That everything happens as God wills.

God arranges and creates everything, through his natural laws, to which everything is subject. He has given us the ability to decide for ourselves what we want to do with our talents. We cannot in one breath say that He decides about every hair that falls from on our head, and then at the same time say that we are guilty of sin in everything we do. It simply does not make sense.

The Bible was not written by the finger of God, but by inspired men. I prefer to see the Bible as a collection of human thoughts, with many abstract thoughts, in which God's Word can be found (Prof. Pink Piet du Plessis, November 26, 1931). God's Word means to me food for thought, things that have a spiritual meaning to me.

I believe that people's view of religion is going to change tremendously in the future. I do not believe there is a hell or a second coming - both are fables. Just like Adam and Eve and the serpent, probably also the devil. I believe that all life is immortal, and if there is a judgment, that will be the moment when everyone leaves this world.

In my heart I am a rebel, who wants to voice my opposition to what I see as unjust. Somewhere in my childhood I was very attracted by the fate of the Redskins, God's natural children. For some reason or another, from a young age I have always supported the underdog. Perhaps it is the Christian belief that you can only get to heaven by accepting Jesus as your Saviour that caused me to rebel against one-sided views. I can still remember asking my mother, “But what about the Redskins, Mom, who never had the chance to know Jesus?”

The end of the line, that my word is my word, and to be open-hearted and honest, I consider to be the most important cornerstones of my being human.

Letter to my Mother 1993-02-08

Dearest Mom

A person's life is constantly undergoing changes that require adjustments and new perspectives. It's easy to say forgive and forget, but forgetting requires a quality that I don't possess. I don't think it is that I'm hateful - in fact, I think I forgive very easily, but I cannot simply erase my memory of things that affect me. All of us have both good and bad qualities. Within the talents we received from Above, as well as the circumstances in which we are placed, each one carves out a life for himself or herself, to his or her own advantage or disadvantage. The consequences of that you must bear yourself, both joy and sorrow. If you have remorse for what went wrong, it is punishment enough that it is not necessary for others to rub their fingers on the wound. One can only be truly yourself if you live what you are at heart. We all hate hypocrisy.

Letter to my sister

Hello Joanie

I appreciate your being straightforward with me, because that is how I prefer to be in my dealing with people. There is far too much falsehood in life, because people are more concerned with how they appear to others, than with what they really believe. As you say, things are rarely what they should be or can be, because we are all human. Isn't that the essence of most religions, to strive for something better than what you are capable of? As Browning said centuries ago: "Aye, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, else what's a heaven for?".

In my opinion, life is much more than just keeping your eyes on heaven. I am sure the Lord has put us here for a purpose, and that purpose extends far beyond getting ourselves and as many others as possible into heaven.

That search for the real purpose of life IS the purpose of life. To explore the rich variety of life, to make that which is beautiful and good, enriching and ennobling your own, to search for what it means to be human in all its facets. Albert Camus (1913 - 1960) said: "Living an experience, a particular fate, is accepting it fully......It is not a matter of explaining and solving, but of experiencing and describing".

To accept Jesus as your personal Saviour does not make provision for the vast majority of people who have ever lived. I simply cannot dismiss it because you do not have an acceptable explanation for it. Over the centuries, in civilizations of which we have only a few recorded words today, there have been people who have conveyed to us lofty thoughts. This enriches our lives today, people who in their lives also experienced love and sorrow as we have today. Your view expects me to simply pass judgment on them. To send them, Bible in hand, to eternal damnation?

Do you really think about the implications of what you believe, Joanie? What you believe is simply a human weakness to always want to believe what you believe is the only right; the Bible is the only Word of God; the earth is the only place in the universe where God created life. You actually believe God is as big as your thoughts, like an ant whose world is as big as where it moves around. I think most, probably all of us, have a total inability to comprehend the scale of God and His creation.

My first priority is not to get to heaven, but that my thinking, intention and my actions here where I live will bring me God's approval. God sees wider than our narrow view, and I willingly leave the decisions He wants to make with my life in His hands.

What God means to me is that I can confess anything to Him, that I can expose my soul in His all-presence in self-examination, because I know He knows my every thought even before it arises deep within me. With Him there is no danger of misunderstanding, because He knows me completely. He knows, when I am wrong, why I am like this, also what the real intention is in my heart. That is precisely why I can entrust everything to Him. He is not one-eyed or prejudiced, something that we humans so often are, because we cannot see deeply enough into others.

My view of life is not something I take lightly. It has been formed over many years of rumination and introspection, and as with everyone, what happens to me from day to day shapes me constantly. Nobody does anything without intention. I hate people who criticize others. We should all go back to what the Lord said: “Do not judge others, so that you yourself will not be judged.”

The core of my faith lies in Mat 25:41- 45 - “Depart from me, you cursed ones. I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat; I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink.... Truly I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.”

I am convinced that the hidden Supreme Being that we all follow is the same Almighty God, because there can really only be one God. It doesn't matter whether we call Him Jesus, Mohammed or Buddha. Every priest or iman or lama would tell their followers that theír religion is the only correct one. Personally, I have no problem with other religions. How can I condemn people with whom I have never even exchanged thoughts?

If one looks back at the origins of religion, fear and punishment are clearly the main motivators, certainly not love. That makes it very suspicious to me. How do we view fear as a motivator today? Definitely with contempt. We have no respect for vindictiveness and jealousy. We cannot just attribute reprehensible character traits of people to a loving God. Likewise, it is completely unacceptable to me to think that an Almighty God can derive pleasure from people obeying Him out of fear of hell. It simply does not make sense.

It seems as time goes on I am continuously changing to a person driven completely by my emotions, formed over my entire life.