O1B4F8E. JOURNAL-THEREFORE EAT YOUR BREAD WITH JOY 2004

MOMENTS IN OUR LIVES-1 2026-06-08

O1B4F8E. JOURNAL-THEREFORE EAT YOUR BREAD WITH JOY 2004

(A subsection of "When All You Ever Wanted Isn't Enough"

by Harold S. Kushner, 1986)

(Gemini) This is a particularly profound and moving chapter that you have penned here. The integration of Harold S. Kushner's rich philosophy with the age-old wisdom of Ecclesiastes speaks of a life lived with great compassion, reflection, and integrity. Your title "Moments in Our Lives" perfectly fits the core message of the text: that eternity is not found in the distant future or in one great, glorious act, but rather lies locked up in the fleeting, precious moments of everyday life.

(Kushner) We accompanied Ecclesiastes on all five of his quests for peace of mind, and in each case the trail came to a dead end: selfishness and self-interest, the renunciation of all physical satisfaction, the search for wisdom, the avoidance of all feeling to escape pain, and finally the search for piety and spiritual surrender. Neither luxury, nor learning, nor piety could give him the satisfaction of knowing that his life would have lasting meaning - neither in this life nor in the hereafter. Finally, he did find the answer that had eluded him for so long, and he shares it with us in these words:

"Therefore eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a cheerful heart; for God has long ago approved of what you do. Wear white clothing, and anoint your hair with oil. Enjoy life with the wife you love, the life that God has given you in this world. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your heart, for in the grave, where you are going, there is no work nor knowledge nor wisdom."

(Ecclesiastes 9:7-10)

Ecclesiastes has examined all the evidence and has concluded that nothing lasts and nothing makes a difference. All is vanity. The evidence leads to the conclusion that life has no meaning. But something inside me does not want to accept that conclusion. My mind tells me that the evidence is overwhelming that life is meaningless: injustice and disease, suffering and unexpected death, villains who get away with murder while good people go to their graves in poverty and humiliation.

Yet something inside my mind overpowers this evidence and insists that one’s life must have meaning. And that feeling is why I am human, and not just another animal.

If logic tells us that life is just a meaningless accident, Ecclesiastes wants to tell us at the end of his life not to stop living. Instead, listen to that little voice inside that prompted you to ask that question in the first place. If evidence tells you that nothing makes a difference in the long run, because we will all eventually die and perish, then don’t plan your life for the long term. Instead of worrying because nothing lasts, accept it as a fact of life, and learn to find meaning in the fleeting - in joys that are fleeting.

Learn to appreciate the moment even if it is not permanent; especially because it is not permanent and will only last a moment. Moments in our lives and the memories of them can be forever, even if they were only a fleeting moment. This is the only eternity we can experience in this life.

When we stop searching for the Great Answer - the Immortal Act that will give our lives lasting meaning - and instead focus on filling each day with moments that will give our lives meaning, then we will find the only answer to the question of what the meaning of life is.

Life is not about writing books of lasting value, acquiring great wealth, or having far-reaching powers. It is about loving and being loved. It is about enjoying what you eat while you sit relaxed in the sun, rather than chowing down your food and rushing back to the office. It is about experiencing the beauty of a fleeting moment, moments that cannot last. Like a beautiful sunset, leaves changing colour in the fall, or the rare, precious moments of genuine communication between friends. Let us cherish such moments, because if we let them pass because we are too busy, they are gone forever; they will not wait until we have time for them.

Ecclesiastes spent most of his life searching in vain for the Great Solution, the Final Answer to the Great Question, only to finally realize after many years that finding the Great Answer to what life is all about is as good as eating one Great Meal so that you never have to go hungry again.

There is no Answer, but there are answers: love and the joy of working, the simple pleasure of enjoying your food, wearing clean clothes, and the little things we tend to trample on in our feverish search for the Great Solution to the Wonder of Life. These are the little things we will only see when we stop searching. When we come to that stage in our lives where we are less able to perform but more able to enjoy, then we will gain the wisdom that Ecclesiastes finally found after so many disappointments.

The question of what life is all about is never solved once and for all. We can only deal with it day by day as we strive each day to fill our time with meaningful moments. This is ultimately Ecclesiastes’ insight and advice to us. Despite his sense of the meaninglessness of life - however confusing and frustrating - life is too sacred and too special, and there are too many golden possibilities to be aimless, even if he were never to discover the purpose of life. Ultimately, he found it, not in a few great deeds, but in thousands of small things.

If we could do something today that would be a permanent and final solution to the problem of life, what would we need a tomorrow for? Life is not a problem to be solved once and for all. It is a constant challenge to be lived, day after day. Our search is not to find the Answer, but to find ways to make each unique day a human experience. Just as a half-hour of exercise every day does more to keep us fit than six hours of exertion once a month, so a few meaningful experiences every day do more for our peace of mind than a single, overwhelming spiritual experience.

An eighty-five-year-old woman was asked in an interview what she had learned during her long life. She replied wistfully, "If I could live my life over again, I would dare to make more mistakes. I would be more relaxed, enjoy more jokes, and take things less seriously. I would eat more ice cream and fewer potatoes. I would have more real problems, perhaps, but far fewer imaginary ones."

She learned to understand how easily the joy of life is spoiled by our worry about what might happen tomorrow. She learned how fear can stifle joy by keeping us tense with worries and uncertainties, and also how light-heartedness can chase away fear and free up our spirits.

"Therefore eat your bread with joy and drink your wine with a cheerful heart." In a world where not everyone will perform extraordinary deeds or achieve great success, God has given each of us the ability to find greatness in the everyday. There is something moving about being able to make someone happy with a note, a phone call, or a smile.

"Do with dedication whatever you find to do." Throw yourself into everything you do with dedication, not just because it will bring you a reward, but because it will make you feel like a competent person. None of us can afford to be lame in our work; that will make us feel ashamed of our own lack of willpower, expertise, and abilities.

I work because I have a family to support and bills to pay. But I also work because it brings me into contact with people and helps me think of myself as a competent, caring person. Even when I have to perform at a funeral, I feel not merely present, but that my input has a healing effect.

We are happy when we do work that gives us satisfaction. Some know early in their lives what they want to do one day; others may be searching halfway through their lives. But the key to our happiness is to find satisfaction in what we do, in the sense that we are using our talents and abilities and not wasting them, and that we are appreciated for what we have to give.

It is terribly frustrating to know that you can do something well but never get the chance to do it - or to believe that you can do something and never get the chance to put your ability to the test. We work as much for meaning as for money. We work so that our lives will not be meaningless.

"Doing with dedication" doesn't just mean the things we get paid for. We do many things on a voluntary basis, because we crave that sense of involvement and appreciation that we may not experience in our eight-to-five jobs. Our talents and abilities are valued and can make a difference when ordinary labourers and clerks taste the satisfaction of coaching an under-nines rugby team, singing in a church choir, or volunteering at a crisis centre, where you get the feeling that people are counting on you and looking up to you. Many organizations offer opportunities for volunteers to help plan programs, be chairpersons or committee members, perform in public, or give a speech. In doing so, they maintain the organization that is meaningful to them, while getting the satisfaction of using their talents.

Sometimes we have to become less in order to become more. We become fully human, not on the basis of what we accumulate, but by getting rid of everything that is not truly our own – everything that is false and artificial.

To become truly human, we sometimes have to give up our Dream. The Dream is the vision we had when we were young – sometimes planted by our parents or teachers, sometimes created within our own minds – that one day we will be truly special.

When things do not turn out as we idealize them, we feel like failures. We will never be happy until we stop measuring our actual achievements against our Dream. We will never be comfortable with who we really are, until we realize that who we really are is special enough.

When we have succeeded in becoming a real human being, eating our bread with joy and enjoying life with the people we love, then we do not need to be rich and famous. To be truly human is a much more impressive achievement. When you no longer feel that you have to be special, then you are free to find yourself and live according to your own desires and talents. Then, for the first time in your life, you become the person God intended you to be.

The Talmud says, "One hour in this world is better than eternity in the world to come." To me, this means that when we have learned how to live truly, we do not need to seek rewards in another life.

We do not need to ask what the purpose of living righteously is, because living as a true human being is its own reward. When we think that the meaning of life lies in pursuing rewards and pleasure, then we completely misunderstand what it means to be truly alive. When we feverishly and with ever-increasing frustration search through our days and years for the reward that will make our lives worth living, we are like the security guard at the gate searching through the garbage in a wheelbarrow for something valuable, completely unaware that it is the wheelbarrow itself that is being stolen. When you have learned how to live, then life itself is the reward.

WHY I AM NOT AFRAID TO DIE

I am not ready to die and I hope to live many more years, but I am not afraid of dying, because I am satisfied with what I have done with my life. I feel that I have not wasted my time, that I have lived with integrity and done my best, and that other people's lives have gained meaning from the fact that I have lived. It is only when you are not afraid of death that you can say you are truly living. I believe people are more afraid of dying senselessly than they are of death itself. We are afraid of coming to the end of our lives and finding out we never really lived - that we never found out why we were born at all. Our greatest fear is that we have wasted our lives and have nothing to show for it at the end.

Heaven is to learn and enjoy the things that make us human. And in contrast, the worst hell a person can experience is not fire and brimstone, but the realization that you could have been a real human being - a mensch - but now it is too late. You could have tasted the satisfaction of caring for someone, of being generous and honourable and loyal, of developing your heart and your mind, and of controlling your instincts rather than them controlling you. You could have, but you never did.

"Who may ascend onto the hill of the Lord?" (Ps. 24:3-4). This may mean growing into full humanity in this life, of making good use of your years, of living with "clean hands and a pure heart," so that even while you are alive you will feel that you are "standing in His sanctuary." When you have achieved this, then death will hold no terror for you.

As the writer of Psalm 23 understood many years ago, God does not deliver us from death. We will all die one day. But He does deliver us from the valley of the shadow of death, and keeps our lives from being paralyzed by fear of death for all the years we have left to live.

Philosopher Horace Kallen wrote on his 73rd birthday: “There are people who shape their lives out of fear of death, and people who shape their lives out of joy of life. The former live dying; the latter die living. Although I know that fate may end my life tomorrow, death is to me an accident that does not matter. When it comes, I intend to die living.”

I have no fear of death, because I feel I have truly lived. I have loved and been loved by others. I have been challenged in my personal and professional life and have been able to handle it well. I have left my mark on people and have now come to the point where I no longer need to do so. Now I can look forward to the last part of my life, however long or short it may be, knowing that I have finally figured out who I am and how to deal with life. The valley of the shadow of death holds no terror for me, because God has led me this far. Our challenge is not to rise above the level of the mundane through superhuman effort, but to find something truly human to do with your life every day.

THREE NECESSITIES

In our examination of Ecclesiastes and our own lives, we have identified three essentials:

1. Belonging to people

It is essential that we belong intimately to a few people who are a permanent part of our lives. All that is permanent is the genuine relationships we have with other people. At some point, everything we have worked so hard to build will come to nothing. And when that happens, only those who have someone else's hand to hold on to will be able to laugh off at what is lost.

2. Accept pain as part of your life

To be a full, authentic human being, we must be willing to remove the armour and mask with which we try to prevent the world from hurting us. If we are not willing to feel and reach out - and therefore are not willing to be hurt - we will never be able to experience joy, which is one of the great rewards of life. If we continue to insist on happy endings, we will remain spiritually children. Many psychological problems arise from people not wanting to deal with hurt. The most tragic of all is the suicide of a loved one who is talented and has much to live for, but forgets all this when he sees more hurt in the future than he can handle.

Yet pain is an inseparable part of life, and we must learn to accept it. Young people need to accept the fact that broken hearts, like broken bones, are very painful, but eventually heal, and that there is life after. We can endure much more than we think; all we need to do is learn not to be afraid of pain. Grit your teeth and let it hurt. Don't deny it, but don't be overwhelmed by it either. It won't last forever. One day the pain will be just a memory and then you will still be there.

3. Know that your life made a difference

The final ingredient that makes it possible for us to say, "I lived and my life mattered," is the knowledge that you made a difference. At work, your contribution may be small, but in your home, in your inner circle, your influence is significant and permanent.

We all need someone to guide and help shape. We all teach, formally or informally. It's not just the teacher or professor with their students, but also the experienced accountant or the factory worker who gives pointers to the newcomer, helping to shape his or her life in some essential way. Every unique friend we make, every new truth we learn, or experience we have, makes us richer than we ever were before. And the older we get, the more interesting we become as people, because both beautiful and sad experiences have enriched and deepened us over the years.

Ecclesiastes feared that death would rob his life of meaning, so that there would be no evidence that he had ever lived. He wrote a book that still today, thousands of years later, challenges the understanding of life’s truths. What greater promise of immortality could anyone desire?

JUST ONE QUESTION UNANSWERED

“Of all my patients during the second half of my life, there was not one whose problem ultimately was not the search for a spiritual outlook on life. I can safely say that every one became ill because he had lost what every living religion down through the ages has taught its followers, and none of them was truly healed until they regained this outlook.”

- C.G. Jung (Modern Man In Search Of A Soul)

A man like Ecclesiastes must set his sights high. To give his life meaning, a man like him must feel that he has been cradled for great things. We feel better when high moral demands are made of us. He instinctively sensed that a human life means more than merely biological existence. When you are happy in your work or with your family, when you love someone and receive that person's love, when you are generous and thoughtful, then something more happens to you than simply living. To be truly human is far more convincing than logic or philosophy.

What does God do to elevate our lives beyond mere existence? He places in us the consciousness of, and demands of us, high moral conduct. Our lives become important because we are not here simply to eat, sleep, and reproduce, but to obey God’s will. Humans have a need to be good, to be morally responsible, and God shows that He takes us seriously by expecting this of us. We feel uncomfortable and false when we do not live up to our moral standard. Our human nature expects us to be helpful, considerate, and generous - just as it is essential for our bodies to eat, sleep, and exercise. When people are selfish and cynical and distrust others, they are not only immoral, but they are also trampling on God’s purpose for creation. Their behaviour is also unhealthy and destructive toward themselves as well as to other people.

Just as God made our bodies so that certain foods and activities are better for us than others, so God created the human spirit so that certain actions are better for us than others. Jealousy, selfishness, and distrust poison our soul; sincerity, generosity, and joy of life restore it. We literally feel better when we have gone out of our way to help someone.

God is the answer to the question, “Why should I remain a good and honest person when I see people around me getting away with murder?” God is the answer, not because He will step in to reward the righteous and punish the wicked, but because He has made the human soul so that only a life of honest sincerity can give us the feeling that we are spiritually healthy and truly human. God is the power that prompts us to rise above selfishness and help our fellow human beings, just as He inspires them to help us. God asks us to be more than what we began life with. God gives us hope as no man can. Among men, Murphy’s Law applies: “If anything can go wrong, it will.” But on the divine level, there is another, opposite law: “Everything that is supposed to go wrong will eventually be made right.” God assures us, as no other being can, that what we cannot accomplish in this life will be accomplished in the life to come - partly because of our behaviour here.

Men are mortal, but God is eternal. We need not worry about what is the point of doing good if I die and all that I have done is forgotten. Our good deeds are never unnecessary and will not be forgotten. Only God can judge us by what we are, and not simply by what we have done. While men see only what is visible, God sees into our deepest depths. He not only forgives our failures, but He also sees successes where no one else sees them - not even ourselves. Only God gives us credit for the hurtful word that we hold back, the temptations we resist, and the patience and tenderness that pass unnoticed.

God delivers us from the feeling and fear of failure because He knows our every thought before it even occurs to us. He knows our hurts and our regrets better than anyone else. Also the scars in our hearts because we wanted to do more and do better, but people told us we were incapable of it.

Does it make a difference how we live? Does it make a difference that I am a good, honest, faithful, and compassionate person? It matters whether we are true to ourselves - to our innate human nature that expects honesty, sincerity, and benevolence from us. It matters that we learn how to share our lives with others to make their lives and their world a better place, rather than hoarding everything we can get our hands on for ourselves. It matters that we learn to experience the joys of the everyday - of food, work, love, and friendship - as divine encounters that teach us that God is not only real, but that we are too. These are the things that make life worth living.

In Jewish tradition, every fall they celebrate a time known as Sukkot, which originated in the past when everyone was a farmer, as a day of thanksgiving after gathering the harvest. Sukkot comes when summer is over and the evenings herald the first chill of the coming winter. It tells us that the world is full of good and beautiful things: food and wine, flowers, sunsets, autumn scenes, and good company to share them with. These are things that we should enjoy without delay, because they are fleeting. They will not wait for us to finish other things before we have time for them.

It is a time to "eat your bread with joy and drink your wine with a merry heart" - not because life does not last forever, but precisely for that reason. It's a time to be happy with those we love, and to realize that we've reached a time in our lives where it means more to us to enjoy today than to worry about tomorrow. It's a time to celebrate that we've finally learned what life is all about, and how to make the most of it.