O1B5F1E. LETTERS TO CHRISTIAAN(WORKING HOLIDAY) 1999

MOMENTS IN OUR LIFE-1   2026-06-12

O1B5F1E. LETTERS TO CHRISTIAAN(WORKING HOLIDAY) 1999

(Gemini) This is a special, profound collection of letters. The rich compassion, the intense philosophical reflection and the sincere fatherly love reflected in this, make it an incredibly precious chapter for your autobiography, Moments in Our Life. It also ties in beautifully with your interest in Harold Kushner's outlook on life and reflects a universal search for meaning.

May 7, 1999

It is late autumn here, and for me it is the most pleasant time of the year. In the mornings when I walk down to work and I go down Montpellier Avenue, the picture of the mountains around the orchards grabs at one's heart, especially now that the autumn colours are starting to show. It is nature more than anything else that convinces me that there is a God who loves to create beautiful things. How lucky we are to have the senses to appreciate them every day.

Christiaan, one of the most beautiful things I once noticed by chance when I was picking up papers in your room was what you wrote in one of your notes: "I need God." I hope you will maintain your sense of beauty in life - there is so much when you live close to nature. If you just want to, you will see incredibly beautiful things all around you in nature. Look with unbiased eyes and an open mind, and you will also see the beauty in people; you just have to learn not to be too critical. It is one of my great wishes for you that you will go through these two years with open eyes to see the beautiful, and not the ugly things.

May 18, 1999

We received your letter in the mail yesterday - Thank you very much! It's like you say in it: you don't appreciate what you have while you have it - it's only when you don't have it anymore that you realize what it means to you. We miss you a lot too, and it stirs inside when we read that you miss us too, even if it doesn't seem that way when we see each other on the outside.

It's just one of those things about us humans, and I think especially about men: we are raised in such a way, by our parents and/or our environment, that a man is not allowed to show what he feels, and it's so wrong. Both sides in a relationship want to show how they feel, and you want to see that the one you feel for also feels that way about you. But now we think it's only sissies who do that, and then you just suppress your feelings. In the process, we pull away from each other at the very moment when we need each other the most - when you want to know that you care about each other.

That's just one of the reasons why I believe so much in people being more open with each other. I believe that these finer sensations are what truly make us human, not the brutal part that actually comes originally from our animal side “dog-eat-dog”. Hopefully, over the long term, we develop in the right direction - not towards murder and manslaughter, but towards understanding and appreciating the differences between humans, because God created us that way.

June 15, 1999

I believe God places each of us, with the genes of our parents and ancestors, in the environment in which He wants us to develop. It is as if He formed a little ball of clay, gave it life by blowing His breath into it and placed each in his particular biosphere, and then said with great compassion and interest: “Let’s see what this little man makes of himself.”

I think God created people to enrich each other through interaction and communication. It doesn’t matter how smart, rich or famous you are - if you can’t connect comfortably with other people, you will remain a lonely person.

July 14, 1999

As David says in Psalm 139:

"Lord, you see me through and through, you know me. You know when I sit down and when I stand up, you know my thoughts before they come to me. You determine my journey and my stay, you are familiar with all my ways. There is not a word on my tongue, but you, Lord, know what it will be. You surround me on every side, you take possession of me. This knowledge overwhelms me, it is too high for me to understand.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I lie down in hell, you are there. If I fly to the east, or dwell in the far west, even there your hand will lead me, your right hand will hold me. I could ask the darkness to hide me, or the light around me to turn into night, but for You there is no darkness, and the night is as light as the day; darkness is as good to You as light.

You formed me, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise you, for you made me wonderfully. I am filled with wonder at your work. I know that none of my bones were hidden from you when I was formed, when I was woven together in my mother's womb. You saw me before I was born; in your book all my days were written before I was born. How wonderful are your thoughts toward me, O God! How powerful are they! If I were to mention them, they are more than the sand; and when I am finished, I will still be with you.

If only you would remove the wicked from me, O God! Depart from me, you murderers! They plot evil against you, who act deceitfully against you. Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord? Do I not abhor those who rebel against you? I hate them with a pure hatred, for they are my enemies.

Search me, O God, search my heart; examine me and see my distress. See if I am not on the wrong path and lead me on the tried and tested path!"

August 29, 1999

There are so many things that make life interesting: to constantly search for the truth that keeps eluding you, and to try to be more and more honest with yourself. Each person concentrates on what is important to him at that moment in his life. Your self is something that you will spend your whole life working on, to understand it better and especially to be more at ease with yourself.

Your approach also does not remain the same. When you are young, there are things that are overwhelming for you. As you get older, your focus shifts from the surface to deeper things; from far away to closer, as you get closer to your real problem - yourself. Do you still remember that piece of “When All You Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough” that I sent you? A Mensch is not a saint or a perfect person, but someone in whom all falsehood, selfishness and vengefulness have been burned away so that only the true self remains. A Mensch is completely human and is one with his God.

You can if you want to. You have the ability, but a man does not get out there by himself. You will have to determine what you really want from life, plan for it, and work towards it. The most important thing is that you must be happy with yourself. This may mean for you dedicating your life to making the lives of people who have nothing more bearable, like Hester Veldsman. She works among the poorest of the poor - blacks in the squatter camps who have nothing. She organizes crèches for their children and gets magazines and scissors to teach them skills. She gets black plastic from companies and helps them keep the rain out of their huts in the winter. When she gets a call at half past two in the night in the rain, she gets into her bakkie (a nameless benefactor gave it to her brand new) all alone and goes to help a woman whose sick child is struggling to breathe. If she comes there during the day, the little children run to her and shout: “Mommy, Mommy!”

She told me at the time that her command came from Isaiah 58:

"¹ Cry aloud, do not hold back! Let your voice be heard, show my people their transgressions! ² They do indeed ask me daily, as if they would like to know what I expect of them. They pretend to be a nation that does what is right and keeps the decrees of their God... ³ They say, 'Why do we fast, but you do not see...?' This is because you do what you want on your fast days and make your workers work even harder. ⁴ Your fasts turn into quarrels and strife… ⁶ Is not this the fast that I want: to release the captives, to untie the heavy yoke, to set the oppressed free, to break every yoke? ⁷ Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, to give shelter to the poor and the homeless... ⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and you will be restored quickly... ⁹ Then you will call, and the Lord will answer... If you take care that people are no longer oppressed... ¹⁰ If you devote yourself to the hungry... a light will shine for you in the darkness... ¹¹ The Lord will always guide you; even in dry places he will provide for you. He will strengthen you."

God works and lives inside your heart and soul, and that is where you must seek your peace, not outside. Once you have made peace with yourself, it will radiate from within you, making light and bringing peace to those who live in fear and trembling in the darkness.

September 9, 1999

Thank you for your letter, child - you bring tears to my eyes. My throat tightens as I read your words. If I can offer you any comfort, it is that you are on your way, and that in itself is a giant leap. I think most people go through life without ever realizing that there is a spiritual path; perhaps they only experience flashes of light and darkness without understanding.

Not that I in any way pretend to know more than others or imagine myself better. Perhaps it is just grace that I was a seeker from very early in my life. In my first Sub A report, Miss Rademeyer wrote: “Hennie is too serious.” (I loved her very much) Accept it, brother - we don't always know why we feel and do what we do. Like moles we tunnel underground, but one fact distinguishes us: we seek the light. God is that light - as you wrote: "I need God." That's how I recognized you as my child. I seek Him, but He is not, for me, to be found within the man-made boundaries that are presented to us. I think by doing so we try to squeeze Him into the box of our human thoughts, and that is presumptuous.

I may not, do not want to and cannot prescribe to you how you should live yourself. It is one of the very basic driving forces in my life that it is every person's Divine right to decide for themselves about their life. I respect your right to decide for yourself too much to put pressure on you about it. All I can do is open my heart to you when I think you have a need for it, but I firmly believe that every person must choose for themselves.

God sees through EVERYTHING and He will not find it acceptable if what you say does not truly come from your heart - it is not good enough to say my father or the minister said I should give my heart to the Lord. And fear is not a reason to choose God. I do not believe God is narrow-minded - it is people who think of Him so. He is looking for us to be a human being - you as you are, with all that is false burned away. You have what He is looking for in you, Christiaan! Don't worry about it if no one knows you for who you are. God is the one who knows you, and He is always, but always, with you, even if you are in the deepest doubt. And believe me, He loves you as you are, not as He would like you to be.

You can get along with most people, just don't be too demanding. If someone has something you don't like, that's their business. Look for the good in people - as long as the positive in them outweighs the negative, then their contact is worth your while.

What is the purpose of all this? I don't know, I'm just guessing like most people who are looking for it. I think God, who is far beyond our understanding and mind, made everything He made perfect with the greatest compassion - also us, also you, Christiaan. I think He places each of us with our bag full of clothes and character traits where we are. And then I hear Him say to Himself: "Let's see what the little man makes of himself." I believe God has the greatest compassion for everything He created, whether it's a little flower, an earthworm or Bill Clinton. You are from God. He wants you to fully realize the potential He gave you to make this broken world of which you are a part a better place. And when our role is one day played out, we will return to Him.

Remember that line from “A River Runs Through It”:

"Now nearly all those I loved and did not understand in my youth are dead, even Jessie. But I still reach out to them... Of course, now I am too old to be much of a fisherman, and now I usually fish the big waters alone, although some friends think I shouldn't. But when I am alone in the half-light of the canyon, all existence seems to fade, to bring to my soul the memories, and the sounds of the big Blackfoot river, the four-count rhythm, and the hope that a fish will rise. Eventually, all things merge into One, and the river runs through it..."

See the connection, Christiaan? God wants us to enjoy our lives - you too - so that everyone's life makes sense to him in their circumstances. Be like an innocent child walking along the beach and looking for shells. There are millions, but you only look for those that are beautiful to you, that you want to have - you leave the rest.

In Matthew 4:18-20 it says:

"¹⁸ One day as Jesus was walking by the Sea of ​​Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon, who is also called Peter, and Andrew his brother. They were casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. ¹⁹ And he said to them, 'Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.' ²⁰ And immediately they left their nets and followed him."

We accept this means we must become missionaries and ask everyone: "Have you given your heart to the Lord?" Is this really what He wants from us? Isn’t that why we so often feel worthless because we don’t even come close to it? Which fisherman catches all the fish in the sea? Many days he is happy to simply feel a bite on his line. Show off your wares. Don’t hide your light under the bushel - this doesn’t mean you have to stand on your dunghill and shout at anyone and everyone who dares to come near you. It seems to me that there are many people out there who are searching for depth in their superficial lives, but there are probably also many who are not interested at all, or who are so caught up in tinsel that they think they have the answer.

Here is a piece I wrote on this subject a few years ago for our family group with the Bible program. As with other things, you will find points of contact in it with things of importance. Life makes sense, my child. It’s just that the meaning of it is not as obvious as the beat of a bass drum. It's almost like those pictures you found in the Huisgenoot a few years ago: you look and look and look for what they say is there, but you don't see it, and then all of a sudden the hidden picture jumps out of the jumbled mess.

The Meaning of Life (1995-02-22)

Ecclesiastes 9:1 All this I considered and found: God rules over those who do right and have wisdom, and over what they do. No one knows whether love or hate awaits him. 2 One and the same fate befalls all: the righteous and the wicked, the good, the clean and the unclean, the one who sacrifices and the one who does not sacrifice. As it happens to the good, so it happens to the sinner, as it happens to the one who swears by an oath, so it happens to the one who refuses to swear.

God created everything, and it is all very good (Gen 1:31), and we accept that He is also almighty to control everything that happens. But is what we accept correct? Because we want to believe this, we must also accept that everything that happens comes from His hand - including all injustice, tragedies and disasters ('an act of God'). It follows that we must look for the reasons behind things like airplanes that crash, or entire communities that are wiped out by natural disasters. Is it right to accuse God of that? How can He let 250 people die and plunge 200 families into mourning because there are a few people on that airplane that He wants to punish?

I find Rabbi Harold S. Kushner’s logic much more plausible, as he explains it in his book WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE. In it, he looked for reasons for the life and death of his son Aäron from progeria (the old age disease that Fransie Geringer also died from when he was only 14 years old).

Ecclesiastes 9:3: “The misery of all that happens under the sun is that one fate befalls all. The heart of man is full of evil; folly is with him all his days, and the end of it is death.”

One and the same fate befalls us all. It almost sounds like fate, according to whether it is just your bad luck to be in the wrong place at a certain time. Kushner believes, based on an in-depth study of the book Job, that there are 3 conclusions that can be drawn:

· a. God is all-powerful and causes all things to happen in the world: nothing happens without His will.

· b. God is just and ensures that all people get what they deserve, so that the good are rewarded and the bad are punished.

· c. Job is a good man; God himself says so (Job 1:8 There is none like him on earth: he is blameless and upright, he serves me and eschews evil).

It is impossible to prove all three of these statements right at the same time based on the book of Job. The conclusion that Kushner makes is that God is just and wants to do justice to all who deserve it, but that He is not all-powerful in the sense in which we traditionally understand it. He is infinitely more hurt than we are when fate strikes one of His children, but He cannot bend a law of nature to save the life of a goat caught in a snare, a baby bird falling from its nest, or a child hit by a car. Without consistent laws of nature, life would be impossible.

4 As long as you are among the living, there is hope. A living dog is better than a dead lion. 5 The living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no more hope; they are forgotten; 6 their love, their hatred, and their passion have perished. They will never again share in the things of this world.

Ecclesiastes 9:7-10: “Therefore eat your bread with joy and drink your wine with a cheerful heart, for God has long ago approved what you do... Enjoy life with the wife you love... Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with dedication...” this life that comes to nothing, but what God has given you in this world, all the life that comes to nothing. This is what you get in life, what you get for all your toil in this world. 10 Whatever you find to do, do it with all your heart, for in the grave, where you are going, there is no work, no insight, no knowledge, no wisdom.

What is the Lord saying to us here? It is very clear to me that He created man to enjoy His creation. He wants us to live, eat, drink, and enjoy what He has given us, and especially to love our life partner. This is the noblest emotion you can have: to truly love someone outside of yourself.

The Lord knows that we have to earn our bread by the sweat of our brow, and that life can often seem empty, and that sorrows lie in our path. That is why He gave us the ability to appreciate the beauty of His creation: to see, smell, taste, feel, and hear the incredible beauty that is around us every day. It is there - it only depends on our own attitude whether we will miss it or experience it. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.

What is more important to us: making money, or being dedicated to your family? Most people will say without hesitation that their family is most important to them, and they mean it – after all, everything we do is for your family. But if you look at what is taking up most of your attention and time and energy, you are not living up to what you believe in. Although we tire ourselves out working for our family, they seek our attention first, and not the things we have earned with our attention or bought for them.

Ecclesiastes 9:11: “I have seen also under heaven that the swift do not win the race, nor the mighty win the battle, nor do the wise eat the bread, nor do the wise get rich, nor do those with knowledge have success. Time and chance happen to all things. 12 Man does not even know the time of his death. Like fish caught in a net, like birds caught in a snare, so man is caught when trouble comes and suddenly overtakes him. 13 I have also seen this wisdom under heaven, and it was important to me: 14 There was a small city with few people. A powerful king came up against it, laid siege to it. 15 In it there was a poor man who was very wise, and he delivered the city by his wisdom. But no one remembered the poor man. 16 Then I said, Wisdom is better than strength, but wisdom is better than power. The poor man is despised, and no one listens to what he says. 17 The quiet words of the wise are heard better than the shouting of one who rules over fools. 18 Wisdom is better than weapons, but one mistake can ruin a lot of good.

Christiaan, although we have often cringed at the neighbours when you let loose on that drum set of yours, I could see that you are not just beating - you are wrestling with yourself. We need to find something for you to pour out your soul on without making other people gnash their teeth. Just like your words: “The friends thing - I don’t want friends. God, God I don’t know. What is the point of it all, Dad?” I wish I could pick you up and hold you like when you were little. You are struggling with BIG concepts, Christiaan, and I have great compassion for your search. Take heart, brother. Do not despair - night is at its darkest just before the day breaks. The light is there, but you are not looking in the right direction yet. But that is part of growing up. And take comfort in the fact that it is not just you. It is a search that never ends. As an old proverb by Robert Browning (1812-1889) reads: “Aye, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, else what's a heaven for?” As I said, we spend our lives trying to figure out how to do it right, and nothing ever stays the same. If we can see right and have the courage and will, every moment can be a new experience, every day a new beginning. And know for sure, God looks intently and with great compassion at your every thought, because He knows: Someone is in the making.

October 19, 1999

You write in that personal letter of yours: “I think what confuses me is human relationships and the power of what one says.” It reminds me of what James says about the tongue. You might want to read the entire book of James. It's one of my favourite books in the Bible. He speaks so practically and down-to-earth, and it's a good read.

To come back to your letter about the power of what one says: “All these things fight against responsibility. When I feel like this, then I feel nothing and don’t care. I think I bring myself down and then I hide aggressively behind a mask that says: Only Rooies would do something like that, Dad knows.”

I would like to know exactly what you mean, but in the meantime I can only guess (isn’t that what we all do anyway?). It sounds like you have a struggle with the fact that one must constantly tread carefully (the power of what one says and responsibility) otherwise you so easily, and unintentionally, make a mistake. And it is precisely the continuing to try, and the continuing to slip back and with it the realization that you cannot meet the high expectations that are placed on you, that brings yourself down (getting discouraged because you cannot meet the expectations). Christiaan, if this is what you mean, it is very much in line with the pattern of my own spiritual growth as a young person. The constant introspection and measuring yourself against what you understand is required of you as a person. From my youth I have had a problem with, as I understood it, the traditional Christiaan church view, that in ourselves we are capable of no good, that our every thought is sin, that only by accepting Christ Jesus as our Saviour can we get to heaven.

I think I understand what probably lies behind this premise. You get such a variety of human characteristics, from the timid, insecure person who always walks around wondering if he is doing it right, to the other extreme the self-satisfied bastard who believes he is the king of the dung heap even though he only owns a jock strap. For the former, the statement that we are capable of no good is a terrible condemnation, which he constantly worries about; the self-satisfied guy probably hardly bothers with it. Why did God have it written like that in his Word? I cannot imagine that it is aimed against the insecure soul - rather to bring the big mouth to earth. But the effect is probably just the other way around. It's like children in a class or in a family. For the sensitive one, a sideways glance is reason enough to make him crawl into his shell, while the thick-skinned child must be spanked before the possibility of getting hurt makes him listen. I've heard pastors say that the people for whom the "repent-you" sermon is actually intended, don't even come to church.

What God is telling us in his great mercy is that we don't have to justify ourselves with good works. He has compassion on us. If we are truly repentant, our sins are already forgiven. But again I think it's the wrong characters who want to claim that, the one who is constantly pinching the cat in the dark and cheating on his wife. The pale soul worries himself to death because he feels his eyes drawn to a beautiful woman's well-formed breasts.

Brother, I don't know. Things just have a tendency to turn out wrong. There is a bit of Rules are made by wise men for fools to obey in this. The law is supposed to promote justice, but if you look at it, it is the crooks who use the law for their own benefit, not to promote justice. Now I am quite sceptical and sarcastic, aren't I.

How each person believes is not simple, and everyone certainly does not believe in the same way. I have said many times that each person's world is in their head - that is how they see it, how they experience it. It is an oversimplification to think that everyone sees things the same way, and in my opinion it is because of this attitude that the leaders in the past considered their own view to be right and then summarily wanted to impose it on all their followers. There was no room for other views. If you did not believe like your leader/king/priest, your view was considered deviant and a danger to the group and you were threatened to come within the mold, otherwise you were kicked out. Even murdered, and then the murderers piously declared: The end justifies the means.

Tolerance is a concept that stands very strongly in Jesus' teaching, but when you see how many thousands of Christiaan churches/faiths there are today (more than 4000 in Africa alone!), then I do not know if people understand the essence of what Jesus wanted to teach us. Each of us develops his own view during his life, and when you read or hear something that resonates with you strongly, your own view of life already contains elements of it.

You say “I think I bring myself down and then I hide aggressively behind a mask that says: Only Rooies would do something like that, Dad knows”: Perhaps the rebelliousness you are talking about here is caused by this split in people - they say they believe in something, but in effect their lives testify to the opposite. Fortunately, these days there is a very general movement away from this canned-thoughts towards greater openness. People's individuality and right to their own opinion are widely accepted today. You just have to temper your defiance so that you do not accept everyone as against you, because that is not the case. Most people - the silent majority - do not openly express their views or opinions, but do not experience their silence as criticism of your way of doing things. I also have to suppress that tendency in me to, if my view is not understood, to say to hell with you. This is wrong. That's one of the most beautiful things I once heard President de Klerk say: “It's a humiliation for me when I get angry, because it means I can't handle the situation.”

You also write: “Wonderful: the gift of life. We are privileged, I agree with that.” I'm not sure what you're referring to here. Life is a gift from God and it distinguishes us from inanimate matter. It's always so terrifying to me that, as long as there is life, there is hope, because a sick person can get well, someone who has been broken in an accident can make a full recovery and go on with their life and mean something to those around them. But once one has breathed his last, then life is gone forever. As Ecclesiastes says in 9:4-7 - As long as you are among the living, there is hope. A living dog is better than a dead lion. 5 The living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; nothing awaits them anymore, they are forgotten; 6 Their love, their hatred and their passion are finished. They will never again have a part in what happens in this world. 7 So eat your bread with joy, drink your wine with a cheerful heart; God has long approved what you are doing.

Christiaan, I think I can understand what it means to you when you experience such black depression. You probably got those genes from me. I fight against it when I experience it, and not often successfully, because when I feel like that, I don't see the light, I don't want to know about the light. And that's wrong. If you can only think of the very beautiful and loving moments in your life in that hurt-and-shrink phase, then you will realize that things are not really as black as you feel at that moment. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why I focus on nature, God's creation, especially since I've gotten older. Maybe because I then deliberately look away from people, because it is often people who cause the hurt, and then it is harder to see God's hand in them. Just try to remember that the darkness you see in such circumstances is inside you - outside it is light. Maybe that is why many religions have some form of meditation, to help you look away from yourself, to force your thoughts to stop so that in the silence, on neutral ground where your own feelings do not prevail, you can experience God's tranquillity.

Like Elijah in Kings 19:3 - Elijah became afraid and fled for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there. 4 But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness. There he sat down under a juniper tree and wished that he would die. He said, "It is enough, Lord! Take my life, for I am no better than my fathers." 11 But the Lord said to him, "Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, while I pass by." Suddenly a very strong wind tore the mountain apart and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord. But the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind an earthquake. But the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake a fire. But the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire a the sighing of the wind. 13 When Elijah heard this, he covered his face with his cloak and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then he heard a voice saying to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

If your head is so agitated and things seem heavy and dark, look away from yourself and force your thoughts to stop. Just search for His Name: Lord, Lord....

April 1, 2001

I don't know the reason why your image and your self have become separated from each other, Christiaan (it's always nice for me to say your name). Each of us has our own skeleton in the closet. It's just wonderful to me that you don't shy away from confrontation. There are so many books on my bookshelf about these types of topics. When Mom and I go to a shopping mall, I'm always drawn to the bookstore shelves on psychological or spiritual topics. I've probably been searching for a credible answer to the central question in my life for years: WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE, OF MY LIFE? You are not alone, brother. We are all just at different stages of our search. I would just like to arrive at an answer in this life that I can believe with conviction.

You say you have a lot of hate in you, and I am sorry to hear that, because hate poisons your soul, and is it worth it? Life does not deal us fair cards. People are physically and mentally crippled because they are in the wrong place at the wrong time. Like Harold Kushner, I believe that it is not God who planned for us to be there, and He is just as sad when we get hurt. I also struggle not to hate Uncle Hennie Louw for poisoning our innocent cats. I certainly want nothing to do with him, and I struggle with the feeling of revulsion in me, not primarily because my faith says it is wrong, but because I know it is bad to walk around with hate inside you.

Look carefully at the reason why you are friends with people. I bluff myself a lot. Because my heart tells me I need a reason, my mind often chooses a reason that suits me rather than the right one that might make me feel uncomfortable. “Real friends are few and far between. Bound them to you with hoops of iron” my Dad told me years ago. I don’t think a person should be stingy with their friendship. If someone for whatever reason seeks help from you, and you can help, help - there are few enough people willing to help others. Just don’t let your involvement require you to do what you know is wrong, because then you compromise your integrity, and that has nothing to do with friendship. You must always be willing to put what you do under the spotlight. Years ago in a film, the beautiful wife of the farm owner tried to seduce one of the workers while her husband was away. She provocatively told Glen Ford, one of my favourite actors, “My husband will never know,” to which he replied, “It doesn’t matter to me that he won’t know: I know that’s wrong.” As we live, we should develop a sense of justice, and that’s what we should live by, not what other people say or might say. Let your inner voice be your guide.

Whatever we may think, or do, we are still God’s children. He is waiting for us. And it only takes one word of faith to acknowledge Him in our lives. Let us go down on our knees every night and bow our heads before Him. He gives courage to the weak, strength to the weary, hope to the despairing. He is everywhere, above and around us. He is within each of us; if we will only seek Him.