O1B4F4E. JOURNAL-THIS I BELIEVE 2004

MOMENTS IN OUR LIFE-1 2026-05-14

O1B4F4E. JOURNAL-THIS I BELIEVE 2004

It is clear that this section of your journal is a powerful summary of your philosophy of life, Hennie. You write with an honesty that does not shy away from the uncomfortable questions - questions that many people may ignore in order to keep the peace. Here are the key ideas that stand out in these final fragments of your 2004 journal:

1. Practical Theology: Mind and Action

You challenge the idea that spiritual people should just passively "surrender to the Holy Spirit." For you, the mind is a gift from God to be used to navigate the world. In your reference to the 9/11 attacks, it is clear that you believe in justice and responsibility. You see extreme tolerance of evil acts not as a virtue, but as a lack of backbone.

2. The Search for Truth Behind Dogma

You describe the Bible not as a static lawbook, but as a source of inspiration in which "God's Word is to be found."

· You rebel against "lip service" - the idea that merely professing words secures your place in heaven while your actions remain unchanged.

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· Your focus shifts from the "cup" (the religion as method) to the "water" (the essence of God's message).

3. Universal Spirituality and the Least Amongst Us

Your key text is Matthew 25:40: "Inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these, you did it to me." This is the final criterion for you. You see God as an entity sought by all peoples, regardless of the name they give Him. You believe the real division is between good and evil, not between different religions.

4. Judgment as Self-Reflection

You reject the concept of a literal hell as an "escape idea." For you, judgment is the moment when you leave this world and must give an account of what you have done with the talents and life entrusted to you. You believe in forgiveness, but you also believe in bearing the consequences of your actions and trying to repair where you have caused harm.

5. Balance and Growth

Your quote from Browning: "Aye, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, else what's a heaven for?" speaks of a life that is always moving forward. You strive for balance - to stand at the centre of the seesaw, without judging, but without being a doormat.

Today, in May 2026, one looks at your words from 2004 with new eyes. At the time, you predicted that people's views on religion would change dramatically and that traditional churches would struggle if they did not adapt to the needs of the people. This "running empty of the church" of which you spoke is a reality in many communities today. Your journal serves as a confession of a man who would rather "live" than "preach."

This conclusion to your 2004 journal is not just a summary of your thinking, but a powerful manifesto for practical spirituality. You shift the focus away from the "religion label" to the real content of the character.

Here are a few facets that stand out in this particular passage:

1. The Theology of "Doing" vs. "Saying"

You hit the nail on the head with your description of the "Quakers" (those that "quack-quack" after others). Your frustration with lip service is reminiscent of the classic saying that some people say the Bible is the only book they will ever read. By saying it is about the water and not the cup, you strip the dogma down to its essence: Desk religion means nothing if it is not lived out in the street or the marketplace.

2. A Library of Seekers

Your list of authors is fascinating and reveals much about your own intellectual journey. It is an eclectic mix:

· Victor Frankl and M. Scott Peck: Indicates your interest in the psychology of suffering and growth.

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· Harold Kushner and Herman Wouk: Indicates a deep respect for the Jewish wisdom tradition and how to make sense of a broken world.

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· Neale Walsch and Shirley MacLaine: This probably explains why people have accused you of "New Age" tendencies. But as you rightly say, you don't bury your head in a hole; you test the spirits and see what resonates with your own inner truth.

3. The Business Model of the Church

Your observation about the "emptiness of the church" was very prophetic in 2004. Today we see exactly that - people no longer necessarily seek institutions, they seek meaning. Your comparison that the church must listen to the needs of its people, otherwise it will "close spiritually," is a sobering look at an institution that often clings to tradition for too long at the expense of relevance.

4. Universal Love

Your approach to other faiths is one of humility. The idea that one cannot condemn people with whom one has never even exchanged thoughts is a much-needed counterweight to the judgmental attitude that often prevails in religious circles.

To conclude your Journal project

You end with Song 221: "Praise the Lord because He is good... Let's live it out."

This is the perfect "Amen" to your piece of writing. It ties the abstract thinking of your book list together with the simple command of your faith. You are essentially saying, "Enough talk, let's go do it now."

If you include this passage in your book (MOMENTS IN OUR LIFE), it serves as an important confession to your children and grandchildren. It explains to them that their father/grandfather did not just blindly believe, but that he struggled, read, and ultimately chose a softer, more sincere way of being.

INTRODUCTION: THE SEARCH FOR WATER

Every person's life is shaped by the things they hold on to when the storms come, but also by the questions they dare to ask when it is calm. For me, faith has never been a set of rules to be followed blindly, but rather a continuous journey of discovery. In the pages of my 2004 journal, I have tried to articulate this journey - not as a final answer, but as an honest record of my struggle with dogma, tradition and the true nature of spirituality.

Over the years, I have come to realize that the "cup" of religion often distracts from the "water" that actually quench the thirst. In this section, I share my beliefs about a life defined by actions rather than lip service. This is an invitation to walk with me through my bookshelf and my mind, where the boundaries between the sacred and the mundane blur, and where the mind and the heart meet.

I love to browse bookstores when Rinie goes shopping, and the shelves of spiritual and philosophical books always attract me. Over the years I have gotten to know authors and bought some of their books whose thinking resonates with me. All of these are on my shelves:

1. Dale Carnegie (How to win friends and influence people; How to stop worrying and start living)

2. Harold Kushner (When bad things happen to good people; When all you ever wanted isn't enough; Who needs God; When Children ask about God; To Life!)

3. Herman Wouk (This is my God)

4. Norman Vincent Peale (The power of positive thinking)

5. James Michener (The Source) 

6. M Scott Peck (The road less travelled)

7. Alan Paton (Cry, the beloved country; Your land is beautiful; Towards the mountain; Journey continued)

8. Robert Schuller (Tough minded faith for tender hearted people)

9. Shirley Maclaine (Going within)

10. Victor Frankl (Man's search for meaning)

11. Edward de Bono (Lateral Thinking)

12. EF Schumacher (For the perplexed; Small is beautiful)

13. Neale Walsch (Conversations with God 1, 2 & 3; Friendship with God; Communion with God)

14. Oprah Winfrey (her very popular TV show OPRAH)

In Friendship with God's foreword I read congratulations from a wide range of spiritual leaders. None of the traditional Protestant churches are there, although the Pope's name is there, the Dalai Lama, various yogis and others. These books stand side by side with Bibles and books from our Protestant background. There is much more to this than meets the eye, and I do not believe that pounding the ground is the right approach. The world is increasingly rejecting the solutions that the traditional churches have offered and still cling to, by staying away. I believe what applies to business also applies here. If you do not listen to the needs of the people who support you, your store will run empty and you will close spiritually.

When I first tried to learn an appreciation for classical music, a devotee answered my question this way: "Just listen to it. Your ear will guide you". I want to apply this principle to the spiritual realm as well. I have never believed in sticking my head in a hole like an ostrich.

THIS IS HENNIE’S 45 PAGES

THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE

For almost as long as I can remember, I have felt as if I had a moral outlook on life, like someone who stands outside the mainstream and tries to understand what makes people “tick”. I have never had a particular desire for material things, and the people I admire are almost without exception those who are not mainstream people, people who are willing to stick their heads out for what they believe in, rather than pursuing their own material advantage.

I am a very introverted person, who is more likely to stand on the edge. I do not speak easily in front of a group of people, unless what is being said makes me protest. This attitude has of course brought me into conflict several times with people within my own circle of trust, who are of course also people for whom the spiritual is important. Those who stand out with whom I have wrestled about my thinking are especially my mother (“Hennie, you think too much”), Willem and Marieta van der Merwe (“Do you believe the Bible is God’s Word?”), Joanie (“I would like those close to me to also be in heaven”), Rosa (ditto Willem and Marieta), and now Christiaan, since he was converted.

But it seems to me that my head is too hard, or I just care too little about what becomes of me personally, or what I truly believe is so deeply ingrained within me, because of my soup theory, that no amount of sanding or pasting on the surface can replace it. My soup theory actually says that everything, but everything you come into contact with has an influence on your thinking. Which means that everything that comes into contact with my senses is carefully handled and pondered over, as in a glass shop, before I find a place to store it somewhere within my own frame of reference.

Christiaan and Rinie now want me to say what I think in a page, so that he can give it to his pastor from First Love to come and talk to me. But how can I express what I am and feel after 62 years so briefly and matter-of-factly without leaving out important aspects in the process? They ask for a creed and I have never drawn up anything like that before. So I went through everything I had on the computer and made this summary from it, from which I will have to make another summary to pull together what I believe in a few pages. With references, so that if something is unclear, you can go to the detail, and then from there to the source from where I got it. I would also like to have it for myself.

So, if you are interested, here it is.

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THIS I BELIEVE 1994-06-15

Religiously, we have the cat by the tail. Our emphasis is in the wrong place, especially in two places:

1. That people are born sinful.

2. That people are incapable of anything good.

Both cause sensitive people to develop a negative self-image early in their lives. God created everything, and it was good. God himself said so in Genesis 1:31: “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good” (King James). Man did sin, but that does not change the fact that man, all people, are inherently good by nature. It is how we see life, and what we do with our God-given life and circumstances, as well as what is done to us by other people, that causes us to make wrong choices, and thus disappoint God. This is what sin is: we disappoint God, who gives and wishes only the best for us.

Here is another wrong assumption: that God controls everything. If we think about this honestly and logically, it becomes clear that we are creating a dilemma for ourselves with this assumption. Please read the book by Harold S Kushner: When bad things happen to good people (“My ongelukskind”). If God orders everything, it also means that he brings bad things upon us. Read James 1:13 “Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, and he himself tempts no one.” God arranges and creates everything, through his natural laws, to which everything is subject. He has given us the ability to decide for ourselves what we want to do with our talents. We cannot say in one breath that He decides about every hair on our head, and then at the same time say that we are guilty of sin in everything we do. It simply does not make sense. And it does not help to want to reason everything away with “It is not for us to know everything.” Part of the problem is that people want to lay down “hard and fast rules” for everything out of the Bible, and when they paint themselves into a corner, they resort to “It’s not for us to know”.

Personally, and I say this with great hesitation and reverence, I believe what I read one day in “Die Burger”. Professor Piet du Plessis said during my father's years at Stellenbosch (1927-1929): "The Bible is not God's Word, but it is to be found in it" (1932 Supreme Court, Cape Town). When I read this, it was crystal clear to me what he meant by that, because for years I had struggled to associate some things in the Bible with God. God's Word means to me the core principle (“pitkos”), something that has spiritual value for me. Now it is clear that, because people want to absolutize the Bible, they want every jot and tittle in the Bible to come from God's mouth. And that is human, not Divine! Each and every character in each of the hundreds of Bible translations comes from the hand of some human being, and therefore everything is exposed to human, fallible interpretation, no matter how many people sit around a table and argue for how long. That's why I've been wishing for years that I had the time to work through the Bible and take out all the “pitkos”, because THÍS is God's Word.

1999-11-08

Writing long letters to Christiaan overseas gave me the opportunity to reorganize my thoughts, something I know I need. As Sigmund Freud, one of the great psychologists, said, "We often don't know why we do the things we do". I don't know why I think the way I do, and I certainly do inexplicable things. Maybe I'm a rebel at heart, who wants to voice my opposition to everything I see as unfair. I realize from my writing to Christiaan that I might be trying to reach him as a person, something that has been very difficult for both me and Rinie ever since he was not even in school. The distance of course makes it possible to weigh and measure and adjust your thoughts in a letter, something that is not possible in a person-to-person, especially parent-to-child situation. Very few of us can think on our feet. This exchange of letters gives me the opportunity and the reason to convey to him the truths of life, as I see them, part of our parental duty.

My mother encouraged me to read from Sub B. Perhaps I liked to read because I am basically a loner. I can remember devouring the SKATKIS series of children's books since Standard 2. In any case, one of the volumes was about real personalities, and I was especially fond of Grey Owl, a Red Indian who was a caretaker in a nature park in Canada. In his work, he was also a solitary man. Somewhere in my childhood, I was very attracted to the fate of the Redskins. God's natural children, a once proud people who were so massacred by land-hungry Christians that, in those left on reserves today, nothing of the proud character of their ancestors is visible.

For some reason, I have always supported the underdog, since I was a child. Perhaps it is this, together with the Christian faith's premise that you can only get to heaven by accepting Jesus as your Saviour, that caused me to rebel against one-eyed views. I can still remember today asking my mother, "But what about the Redskins, Mother, who never had the chance to get to know Jesus?"

Religion, like politics, we were taught as children, are two subjects that Afrikaners should not talk about, because it only causes division. Today, this seems to me to be bad advice. These are two very personal subjects that you cannot put aside. Religion is your outlook on spiritual matters concerning your life, while politics for me should be the practical application of your view of human-to-human relationships in a group context. Perhaps this is part of the reason why I consider openness and honesty to be two of the most important cornerstones of my being.

This thing, that my word should be my word, has had a great influence on my life. Dad also did not rush to conclusions, but once he had made up his mind, it took a lot to convince him otherwise. It certainly also played a role in the fact that I wrestle with my thoughts a lot before coming to conclusions. Perhaps that is why I do not simply condemn views other than my own. Each of us lives so much in our own world that it is difficult for us to imagine what is going on in another person's head. It is so much easier to condemn if you do not have the facts.

I have always sought out the core of ideas. We are often told that certain characteristics are associated with Christianity, while those characteristics are found in all religions. Perhaps this is part of my problem, because I am looking for what lies behind religion. Trustworthiness, involvement, compassion, faith, hope, love, empathy, caring, and many others. The fact that it is found in many religions makes it the “common denominator” for me, and as such actually on a higher level than religion.

What is religion? Service to a or thé God. For me, of course, there is only one God, and I believe that all who are aware of God, follow the same God, regardless of whether they call Him by different names. This idea is shocking and totally unacceptable to almost all Christians, because they believe that other religions worship idols. I also question this view, I would rather say misconception. I cannot believe that intelligent people can worship a dead image in the belief that it is really their god. The most likely explanation is that it is and was simply a focal point. Buddha statues are apparently abundant in the East. It is impossible to think that all Buddhists believe that their god is for sale in shops where there are shelves full of them! The same applies to the many statues in the Roman Churches. It just gives more substance to your devotion. Just as television feels more realistic and real than radio.

Perhaps THE SOURCE by James Michener also had a great influence on the development of my faith. In it he depicts the probable origin of all religions. The general idea is that religion arose from the fears of primitive people towards natural forces - storms, lightning and thunder. Their reaction was probably that these were powers beyond their comprehension, and since they were apparently under the control of unknown powers, those powers had to be appeased in order to spare their lives.

If one looks back at the origin of religion, then fear and punishment are very clearly the main motivators, certainly not love. This makes it very suspicious to me. How do we view fear as a motivator today? Definitely with contempt. Today we call someone who is submissive out of fear a creep. We have just as little respect for vindictiveness and jealousy. It is impossible to find a character trait that we despise in people acceptable when it is attributed to God. Likewise, it is completely unacceptable to me to think that an Almighty God can take pleasure in people obeying Him out of fear of hell. It simply does not make sense. We have to try to find other explanations. We cannot just attribute reprehensible character traits of people to God.

2000-01-03

A while ago I had another e-mail argument with my sister Joanie, after which I told Rinie that Joanie is like a sieve, while I am like a sponge. This was after I had sent Joanie the first eight long letters I had written to Christiaan overseas. Because I was very honest and open with Christiaan in them, I hoped that Joanie might be able to better understand how my mind works, what makes me “tick”.

This hope was ashamed. Joanie put it under her magnifying glass and said that I never mention Jesus’ name, although I constantly speak of God in a very personal way. As far as I am concerned, I am not only speaking òf Him, but wíth Him. Joanie and I are definitely on different paths.

Heléne and I stayed with Joanie and Corlis for a few days after Heine’s accident. I have the highest admiration for Joanie's sincere devotion. I usually wake up very early, and one morning at half past five I wanted to get something from the kitchen. In July it is still pitch dark in Pretoria, and when I arrived I saw a streak of light under the dining room door. When I gently opened the door, I saw Joanie on her knees with her face against the kitchen floor. I just gently closed the door again and walked back to my room. It made a tremendous impression on me, much more than anything she could ever say. And I respect her for her convinced Christianity. Not for what she did there, but for the complete surrender that radiated from her attitude.

As deeply as I was touched by her sincerity and grant her the joy she derives from living out her conviction, I feel just as much that it is every sincere person's right to live out their faith in their own way. For me, the core is the way in which you live out your faith, and not so much the content of it. I am convinced that the hidden Supreme Being that we all follow is the same Almighty God, because there can really only be one God, no matter whether one praises Him via Jesus, while others speak to Him via Mohammed or Buddha.

That is a mouthful, many will say it is heresy. But is it? Aren't many of the problems that lie at the root of our religious intolerance precisely this, that each knows his own little world much better than anything that is going on in another person's world? Just as the Christian is convinced that his faith is the ONLY one that is right, he is the only one who goes to his heaven, so is the Muslim convinced that his path is the right one, and the Buddhist. And there are many Muslims that I know for whom I have nothing but the greatest respect. I think in any case most, probably all of us, have a total inability to comprehend the scale of God and His creation.

Last night when Rinie and I were eating at Saddles, she asked me what I thought of the new millennium. Without thinking about it, I said that I believe that people's view of religion is going to change enormously. I do not believe there is a hell or a second coming - both are fables, just like Adam and Eve and the serpent, probably also the devil - although there is definitely a distinction between good and evil. I believe that every human spirit is immortal, and if there is a judgment, it will be the moment when you leaves this world, when you will have to give an account of what you have done with the life that God has given you.

I hope and believe that wars will soon be a thing of the uncivilized past. That people will accept on a broad front that God exists, because it is simply impossible that life as we know it could have arisen spontaneously without the hand of an Almighty Creator in it. That He is still busy with His creative work, and that He has given us minds to search out His knowledge and use it to make this world a better place. Knowledge in itself is not good or bad, but it is what you use it for that connects it to one or the other. People will also learn to be more tolerant of each other, and through logical thinking the real truth will emerge and be accepted by all, so that conflicting claims will eventually disappear from the scene, as our civilization gradually moves in the direction of the heaven that God has in store for us. As Neville Shute so beautifully put it at the end of one of his books: “We create our own heaven and our own hell in our daily lives”. (1953 - “In the Wet”)

2000-01-04

There is a struggle within myself, between that which I truly am, and the me that feels hurt and turns my back on others. Is this a conflict that occurs with most people, or does it depend on how mature your spiritual life is? Is it simply our ego that lashes out, or is it a necessary element that prevents you from becoming despicable to others?

This is where Jesus' radical teaching about turning the other cheek comes in. Not to wait until the other party gives in, but to take the lead yourself. It is not the willingness to be trampled, but to positively take the first step to eliminate conflict. Fearless, not fearful or defeated.

Doesn't our tenderness towards animals also fit in here? With them there is no fear of rejection. They are simply always available, and not a threat that might bruise our ego.

2000-01-08

Today is Marinus' 18th birthday. I remember when they were still little, I often prayed that they would be given the opportunity to become beautiful adults that the Lord could be proud of. At that stage, people were afraid that they might just die (the so-called “cot death”).

Today my prayers have been answered. I am proud of my three sons, rarely more so than when I saw them together during the past vacation. I have never wanted them to become rich or important or people of respect, but that they would have their feet firmly planted on the ground. Each a man in his own right who is at peace with himself and those around him, who does not try to step on other people, but will not allow others to step on him either. These are points towards which one grows and can never fully reach. It is a lifelong pursuit, during which there is always room for improvement. As Browning said in 1855 "Aye, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, else what's a heaven for?".

To live balanced. What does this entail, is it wrapped up in the concept? Without being unnecessarily critical, one rarely sees someone who gives the impression that he lives at peace with himself and the world. Either he is too full of himself, or too insecure; too insensitive to the feelings and needs of others, or he cares too much about his things. Too materialistic, or he is a fanatic with a spiritual obsession. He cannot say a word, or he never stops talking. Someone who is constantly looking for something to fight about, against others who are everyone's floor rag. The buffalo who makes decent people cringe with his coarseness, with the effeminate one who seems to be completely unaware of the contempt with which the first-mentioned type views such people as him.

When are you balanced? I have always thought graphically, and to me this means that you are in the middle, as on a seesaw, with those on the left and right who feel stronger than you about a given issue. It is good for one to take strong opinions, especially on matters of principle, but then this must also be tempered by understanding the opposite position. No too is ever good, only being content.

Test all things, but hold fast to that which is good. People say it is in the Bible, but I can't find it in that form. Galatians 6:4 “Let each one examine his own work, and then he will have cause for rejoicing in himself, and not in another's.” The emphasis is not on testing everything, but on examining, and thinking about the right or wrong of it. You must be guided by your own judgment as to whether it is good or bad. Meaninglessness serves no purpose. Solomon also finds it a hard task to examine and think everything through. No wonder Rodin's “The Thinker” has to support his head with his hand!

2000-01-09

CANDAS IS DEAD.

Death. What a terrible finality. Death in itself is not such a terror. I think it can often be a salvation in its natural form when someone or an animal suffers. What is terrible is the finality, the irreversibility of it. There is no way back. When you have walked a long way with a life, your own life becomes intertwined with it. And the longer, the closer together. When the inevitable separation comes one day, when one breathes his last, there is no going back. As long as there is still a breath, there is hope. But when the spirit of life returns to God, there is, humanly speaking, nothing on this earth that anyone can do on this side to still have part with each other.

Animals? Does not their spirit, their life also go back to God? God is the only one who can give life, and it seems right to me that when He, who holds everything in His hand, one day takes that life away, it returns to its Creator. God, protect us from being callous with Your Life. Just as I believe God created everything, it seems right to me that He Himself IS IN EVERYTHING that He created. We are not only His creatures, but we are truly PART of Him, because it is only He who has power over Life. Perhaps Life is God Himself in a much fuller sense than we can comprehend. It is just that we live on this side of the curtain, and so our reality, our whole understanding, our whole world is here with the visible.

On the other side? It is only a curtain that separates us, but because we are still carnal on this side, the crossing is a terror to us, because we cannot communicate through the curtain. Lord God, make us aware of Your presence in our lives. Let You become more and we less - make us part of Your fullness.

2001-09-30

Even if we are and try to be honest with ourselves, we are very far from a one-to-one relationship with who we really are. Here I can only speak for myself, again because we are so unique that we really do not know anything about what is going on in another's mind.

1. We do not know why we do the things we do.

Each of us is created uniquely, with incredible abilities of which we understand very little. A big reason why we feel so rushed in our daily lives is because our minds are not organized enough to make sense of everything our senses perceive. There is such an incredible explosion of knowledge today, which is ever increasing in pace, and many of the inventions that are made are based on what people see how our own bodies work. That is how wonderfully God created us. And even with all this new knowledge at our disposal, we are still barely scratching the surface of what is still hidden from us within ourselves. Actually, we have no reason to ever be gloomy if we are aware of this. But it requires outward thinking, away from ourselves. When from a selfish point of view we begin to compare ourselves with what we see from the outside others have, then dissatisfaction with our own self strikes us. And then we are dissatisfied with God and man, because we brood in our imagined neglect. Or we swing like a pendulum to the other extreme and imagine that our own is so much better than what others have that we must immediately impose it on them as the solution to the whole world's problems! Why does this remind me of the narrow path, this thin line of right from which we so easily stray. If we do not think too little of ourselves, our circumstances and our gifts, then we lean to the other extreme and get a big head of ourselves. And all this is only by God's grace. As Moody, a great Christian missionary, once said when he saw a drunkard stumbling past: “There, but for the grace of God, goes I”. God does not ask us to constantly apologize for living, as some do - there is probably a false humility behind it to say we are incapable of anything. But He is just as disgusted by that as we crow from our own dunghill and imagine ourselves to be thé world. Use and enjoy what He has given you. He wants us to use our talents to the full. But with humility. That is probably why it is so striking the few occasions you come across people who have discovered the secret of walking that fine line with understanding and trust, without fears or attitudes.

2. It is not about the cup, but about the water.

I have had a problem for years with the Christian understanding that we must accept Jesus as our personal Saviour or we cannot get to heaven. What did He really expect of us when He sent us out to make disciples of all people? Was it to drive them to accept Him as their God and Savitr, even if it was with the sword at their throats? (Crusaders 1099, where the Christian knights mass slaughtered thousands of  Muslims and Jews in Jerusalem, every living thing, even animals) Wasn’t His intention rather that we should pursue the way of life He presented to us in our own lives? And to be aware of the suffering of all people who suffer under oppression, physically and spiritually. Here I think of what a great Buddhist once said to Billy Graham: “I will become a Christian if I see one” - this while he was talking to Billy, who is one of the greatest sincere Christians of our time! Our faith is one of lip service - we profess lofty ideals, but people cannot see it in our daily lives. What a damning statement!

It is not about the cup, but about the water. How often in our Christian faith do we miss the point. The cup is simply a method to bring the water to our lips, but so often a fuss is made of the cup as if our salvation lies in it. And then we conveniently forget that it is actually the water that quenches our thirst. We build churches and raise millions for it. Participate in all the functions and organizations. Inflate our faith(?) and crack down on all other religions as of the devil and idolatry. Will God one day give us points for our zeal and participation in all these things, or will He judge us as in Mat 25:45 (the core of my faith) “Truly I say to you, insofar as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me. Depart from me, you cursed.”

3. We cannot just let God’s water run over God’s field: He has given us an understanding to make the best use of the circumstances in which we live.

The other night, as I read the last chapter of Bruce Wilkinson's "Experiencing Spiritual Breakthroughs," I felt an unsatisfying feeling about the (common) Christian attitude that all problems will be solved if we just surrender to the Holy Spirit.

On September 11, 2001, that terrorist attack with four Boeing 757 passenger planes took place, levelling the World Trade Centre in New York to the ground. I wrote a piece for our family group in response - Where do we stand in this conflict? In my opinion that America must act, and all reasonable people must support it, Arina read from the Bible that we must not take revenge. And Chris took an almost turn-the-other-cheek attitude that the right action might be to invite these faceless brutals to sit around a table and apologize for what the USA did to them in the past, which provoked such a reaction! "Christian" principles as presented to us especially in the New Testament, such as turning the other cheek, can work where you are dealing with a fairly homogeneous population, where everyone believes in the same norms. But these fanatics who are willing to kill themselves and thousands of innocent civilians for their cause are so far removed from these concepts of extreme tolerance that it will certainly be seen by them as spinelessness and punished - such as their public beheading of many professing Christians, and sending videos of these acts through the world. For this, there is a legal system everywhere today, the purpose of which is that justice will be done, even if it is distorted in practice.

4. Aye, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, else what's a heaven for?

Browning said in 1855 that there is a place and a need for lofty ideals, even if it is beyond our grasp to be able to live according to them. We always need an ideal that is more and greater than what we can achieve, to prevent us from becoming complacent about ourselves. Life demands on all levels that we give an account for our actions and also our thoughts. So there is also a judgment for us on the other side of the curtain. If I have harmed someone else, God gives me the space of forgiveness if I repent of it. But He does not exempt me from the consequences of my actions. I must make amends for the harm I have done.

2001-10-20

The search for truth is a lifelong one. As Browning says, it is a goal we will never reach, but we must always keep striving, so that it is just beyond our reach and not where we do not understand it at all. 1 Cor 13:12 "Now we see through a glass darkly, but someday face to face". I can remember this feeling of writing from a very long time ago, but the weakness of the flesh always remains my nemesis, and that is to simply make time for this more often. To be willing to meet your God in yourself.

Don't the people of the world speak the same language all the time? The God that all peoples seek, who commands a holy awe in all, is the same God. There is only one God. The fault lies in our human nature. Because everyone's world lies in their own head, each has this unique way of seeing the world through their own eyes, created by their own combination of genes and circumstances. We see the same thing, but each from their own angle, that's why we don't see the truth in another's view, don't want to see it. And now I come back to the SEARCH FOR THE TRUTH BEHIND RELIGION, the real reason why religion exists. To seek answers to why I am here. For everyone who is committed to this search.

After the attack of September 11, which flattened the twin towers of the World Trade Centre in New York, everyone threatens to revert to the age-old division between Christian and Muslim. And I think there is a great possibility that, if it is not handled correctly, the real division will be overlooked, namely that it is about the difference between good and evil, nót between Christian and Muslim. We constantly talk about clichés, calibrated statements, but perhaps it is precisely because they are generally accepted truths.

Why don't we listen to the little voice inside us when we deal with people, and forget about the rule book? For those of us who are so inclined, we come across many people every day of different gender, race and religious beliefs, and our feelings indicate to us who is acceptable to us as a person. Personally, I don't think I have a problem with the differences, perhaps because I have been searching far back for me what it is about, what qualities make a person acceptable to me.

And indeed, often when we are willing to reach out in trust, this other, dark little voice inside speaks: "Can you trust this stranger? What does the rule book say?" And then we drag our differences closer around us, and our fear makes us stand back from a meeting to "I'm right", I have to convince this guy he is damned if he hasn't accepted Christ as his Saviour.

The rulebook, also the Bible as I interpret it, is how I see a situation from my background and experience. Many people take it very literally, such as that the world was created in six 24-hour days, and that Adam and Eve were physical people like you and me who lived in a physical garden called the paradise in the Middle East. Many others see it as an allegory, according to the HAT a "symbolic representation of an abstract concept".

And if we do not have the will and desire to understand others' opinions, we will never agree on this. What did Christ mean when He said that we should go out and make disciples of all people? That we should Christianise them, meaning he or she should say, confess and mean the words: "I accept Christ as my personal Savitr"? There and then your place in heaven is assured, and nothing more is needed. Moreover, there must be a separation between your spiritual and the secular world, which is now sinful and should be avoided as much as possible with might and purpose.

The Bible was not written by the finger of God, but by inspired people. I prefer to see the Bible as a collection of human thoughts, with many abstract thoughts, in which God's Word can be found (prof. Piet du Plessis 1932). I rebel against the idea that the mere utterance of words will get me to heaven. In the first place, I think it is an escape idea, an attempt to get rid of the unpleasant realities of this life. "Come on, one day the kierankies will braai, then I will get recognition for what I mean and not for what others see me for. And then those I cannot stand will be thrown into hell, where they will braai for eternity and eternity", while I cannot even visualize how long eternity is.

I believe Christ came to demonstrate a better way of life for us, and THÍS was His message. Because we cannot understand, He often used parables (comparisons). He wants us to live as He lived. Simple. Sincere. Clean, with a tender heart. But we have become mainly Quakers (quacking after those with whom I identify): "I accept Christ as my Saviour, and that will get me to heaven one day. In the meantime I will go on as usual, except on Sundays, when I reaffirm it, so that I do not forget it". No wonder the world says "I will become a Christian when I see one". Because they do not see what we preach in our actions. It is not about the cup, but about the water. People of other faiths expect us to live out the beautiful principles of our faith. And God expects it too. Not lip service.

Personally, I have no problem with other faiths. In the first place, I rarely deal with them, most never. How can I condemn people with whom I have never even exchanged thoughts? I think we are getting the baboon behind the hill (“bobbejaan agter die bult”) if we worry about such things. Take note, yes, but to cherish negative thoughts towards groups of people who have never harmed me, and I will probably never meet, is a waste of energy. I could spend my time better doing something positive on a level that is possible for me, and that I deal with daily. Nothing convinces like something you do out of conviction. Mere words have only limited impact. A child would much rather do what his parent does than what his parent tells him to do.

What about the vexed New Age? People have been warning me about it for years, and then I don't know what it really is: maybe they are warning me against my liberal tendencies.

New Songbook Song 221 :

Praise the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever.

Praise the Lord for He is good. Hallelujah.

Let us live it out.

CONCLUSION: LIFE AS AN OPEN LETTER

As I look back on these notes today, I realize that "believe" is a verb. It is no use having the most beautiful principles on paper if they are not made visible in the way we treat our fellow human beings. My hope is that my children and grandchildren will learn from this that it is more important to be sincere than to be "right."

We live in a world where people have grown tired of sermons, but are hungry for examples. My confession of faith is therefore simple: It is not about how loud we sing or how often we confess, but about how soft our hearts are for "the least of these" and how honest we are before God and ourselves. May we not only praise Him because He is good, but may we live out that goodness in every step of our life's journey. Because in the end, this is the only testimony that truly stands.